History of Magic
by oceans-of-light
Summary: While Hermione was looking for information on the Horcruxes, she may have found a book that will change the course of history forever. And we are not kidding. Discontiuned, being rewritten.
1. Finding the Book

**History of Magic**

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**By DL and Tomm**

A/N: we came up with this _brilliant_ idea talking about books. There is no pairing so far, sorry.

A/Nx2: everyone's a klutz. Sorry, but you can't blame them. There is this little thing called puberty.

A/N: _italics means writing in the book _

Disclaimer: We own nothing. Not even the keyboard we are typing on. It makes feel sad. But if the moviemakers could buy the rights to Harry Potter, then so will we!!

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Chapter One- Finding the Book

Hermione bent her head over the book she was examining. She was looking for information of possible Horcruxes. But the book she was currently reading made absolutely no sense. She had toiled over it for hours and now was sick of it. Pushing it to the side, she reached for the other pile of books. One in particular caught her attention.

The leather bound book was old; it was surprising it was still bound together.

Hermione picked it up and dusted off the cover. She scanned the front page for any indication to what the book was called. She could barely make out an 'h', 'l' and a magic. She was otherwise stumped.

Curiosity perked, she opened the book, only to find it empty. But she could sense the magic that ran through the pages and knew that there was something hiding the words. She could crack the code yet.

Setting it aside, she would use it for later use.

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Ron grunted in his sleep. Somebody threw a pillow at him. Snorting, Ron sat up and hit his head on the side of the four poster bed.

Mumbling obscenities beneath his breath, he stretched and, once again, hit his arm on the bed side.

'Bloody growth spurts,' he muttered. Cursing, he stood and slipped on the polished floor. Once more his head greeted the four poster bed.

'Stupid big feet!' Ron swore, Harry mumbled something about house-elves in his sleep, Ron decided he didn't want to hear it.

Meandering down to the common room (tripping down a few stairs along the way of course) he plopped face first into one of the comfy red chairs. 'At least it's better then the floor.'

Turning around so he was actually sitting in the chair, he heard the portrait hole open and a bushy head toppled through.

'Hey, Hermione,' he said casually.

'Ron, I am so glad you're up! Look what I found?' Hermione said, holding up her prized possession.

'A book?' said Ron pretending to be excited.

'Yeah, it's amazing!'

'What is it about?'

'Absolutely nothing!' she told him excitedly.

She set it on one of the tables and took out her quill and ink. Hermione was so excited she knocked the ink jar over.

'Opps! No harm done, I hope.'

Ron, glaring at her from his own pool of ink, burst out, 'Look what you did to me!'

Hermione looked over at Ron and blinked. 'What an amazing discovery! I guess this book is somewhat like Tom Riddle's diary.'

'Don't show it to Ginny, she'll freak,' warned Ron, shaking his hand to get the ink off.

It flew off and hit the couch. It instantly disappeared.

'Hey, Hermione, come look at this,' said Ron, dropping his knees to examine the couch.

'Not now, Ron, I am trying to figure this out.' She wrote on it, _Ron is such a fag._

Instantly, Ron turned into a life-size cigarette with a red burning top.

'Hermione!' he shrieked!

Hermione turned around and rolled her eyes. 'I told you to lay off the cigs.'

'I don't even smoke! It's that stupid book!' He said, glaring at Hermione accusingly.

Hermione giggled guiltily and scratched her cheek. 'OK, I'll cross it out.'

Suddenly as Hermione's quill lifted from the paper, Ron fell in half.

'Hermione, do something!'

Grabbing the Magic Eraser, she quickly erased her sentence. Ron returned to normal. He turned fuming to Hermione.

'I am going to KILL you! Now go up to bed and get some sleep.' He turned around and crossed his arms grouchily.

Hermione quickly ran up the stairs and disappeared.

Ron turned around and eyed the book suspiciously and somewhat curiously, although he would never admit it.

Sitting down, he attempted to ignore the book. But he gave into curiosity and opened the book, eyeing the innocent white pages.

'Let's see what this book can do!' He quickly took a quill and wrote _Ron is not tall, Ron's feet are very small and Ron is very, very, very hot! _He strode over to the mirror and looked himself once over. Nothing had changed.

'Bloody book,' he cursed. Sighing he went back upstairs and back to bed.

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A/N: sorry about all the A/Ns at the start!

R&R please

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Spoilers: Harry casually draped his arm around Ron's shoulders. 'Harry?' Ron squeaked in a voice that was not his. At least not after puberty hit. 


	2. Ron Uses the Book

A/N: hope you like this chapter! Guess what! We already have ONE FAN! WHOOO (That's a first)

A/Nx2: since we were SO happy about our one review we decided to update really soon.

Disclaimer: If we owned Harry Potter, he'd already be dead.

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Chapter Two – Ron uses the book

Ron groaned and rolled over in his bed. The clock said ten to nine. And classes started at nine.

He swore profusely and jumped out of the bed. Surprisingly he didn't trip. Smiling at his good fortune, he thought, 'Hey maybe that book really did work! Yes!' he squeaked. Passing the high pitch off as not having his morning pumpkin juice, he headed towards the common room, pulling on his clothes as he went. When he reached the common room, he was pulling his shirt on. Several people wolf-whistled as he passed by.

'What's their problem?' he muttered.

Ginny nudged as he passed her. 'Rona, you can't do things like that! You aren't six any more!'

Shrugging off Ginny's reprimand he waved her off and went down to the Great Hall for a quick breakfast.

Plopping down at the Gryffindor between Harry and Hermione, he reached for a piece of toast. As he did, Harry casually draped his arm around Ron's shoulders.

'Harry?' Ron squeaked in a voice that was not his. At least not after puberty hit.

'Yes, Rona, darling?'

Ron's eyes were about the size of twin saucers. 'R-R-Rona?'

'That's your name,' said Harry leaning forward to peck his girlfriend on the lips. Ron screeched terrified and jumped ten feet back.

'WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?'

Harry looked baffled. Ron ran quickly to the bathroom, not realizing that it was Moaning Myrtles.

He screeched as Myrtle appeared behind him. 'Oh, Rona, you haven't visited me for a while.'

Ron turned glared at Myrtle. 'Don't call me that?'

'What's wrong with your name?'

'It's not my name!' he shrieked, his voice going even higher with hysteria. 'Damn it!' he yelled, clapping a hand over his mouth. He turned to the mirror and almost fainted. But that would be too womanly.

'Look at me! I – I ...' but his voice trailed off.

Hermione strolled up behind up him and stared in the mirror as well. 'You're not that bad. And besides Harry doesn't care.'

'But I am a girl!'

'Well obviously! Did it just come upon you?'

'YES!'

'I didn't you smoked that much,' mused Hermione.

Breathing heavily, Rona managed to huff out, 'I DON"T SMOKE!'

A light dawned on her. 'It's that bloody book of yours!'

'Which book? And are you sure it isn't that time of the month again?'

Rona ignored the last comment and continued on about the book, 'It dropped ink on me, it turned me into a cigarette and now look what it's done! Where did you put it?'

Hermione shrugged. 'Which book?'

'That H, L and Magic book! Where is it?'

'Oh that, I figured out it says, 'History of Magic'. It wasn't very hard.'

At that moment Luna came in. 'My father wrote an amazing article on a book called 'History of Magic'. It's the neatest thing! Apparently it can change the course of history!'

Hermione scoffed. 'That's a load of nothing.'

Ron–a had the look of a mad man on her face. 'Where did you put that book?'

'Oh, I brought it back to the library this morning.'

Instantly Ron—a was gone.

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Rushing to the library, forgetting all about class (it was potions anyway), Ron—a slammed into the librarian's desk and glared at her. 'Miss Weasley, please!'

'Where is that book Hermione Granger handed in earlier today?' Rona gritted her teeth.

'I never expected you to be an avid reader,' said Madam Pince.

'GIVE ME THE DAMN BOOK!'

'Voices down, this is a library. And no swearing.'

Rona breathed deeply and tore the book out of Madam Pince's arms when she found it.

He took his eraser from his bag and erased what he had written earlier. Instantly he returned to normal. Thrusting the book in his bag he hurried off to potions. Wait, that's not right. He went outside and hung by the lake.

Later was Herbology, and he had to sit by Harry. But he couldn't bring himself too. Instead he sat next to Neville. Harry kept sending him looks.

Ron shuddered. The memory was haunting. His revenge on Hermione would be sweet, very sweet, just like Mother's cooking!

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A/N: don't expect us to update soon. But maybe. Check next week. Tomm's computer is still broken and DL's laptop hates her. REVIEW

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Spoilers: Ron looked at his report card in rapt horror. 'F+… in potions!' 


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